Alright, listen up, y’all. Wanna be a big-shot college football coach, huh? It ain’t easy, let me tell ya. It’s like tryin’ to catch a greased pig at the county fair – slippery and a whole lotta work.
First thing’s first, you gotta get yourself some learnin’. Yeah, school! I know, I know, nobody likes sittin’ in them hard chairs, but them colleges, they like seein’ a piece of paper that says you ain’t a dummy. They call it a “degree,” fancy, huh? Most of ’em want you to have at least a bachelor’s, but if you can snag a master’s, well, that’s like puttin’ extra gravy on your mashed potatoes – makes it even better.
Now, just havin’ a degree ain’t gonna cut it. You can’t just walk in and say, “Hey, I’m here to coach!” It’s like tryin’ to bake a cake without flour – ain’t gonna work. You gotta get some experience, see? Start small, maybe coachin’ them little whippersnappers in high school. Gotta learn how to yell at kids without makin’ ’em cry…too much. Then, you work your way up. Colleges, they want fellas who know what they’re doin’, not some greenhorn who can’t tell a football from a watermelon.
- Get a Degree: Bachelor’s is good, Master’s is better. Them fancy schools like that.
- Get Experience: Start small, work your way up. Gotta learn the ropes, just like milkin’ a cow.
- Network: You gotta know folks. Talk to other coaches, shake some hands, be friendly. You know, like at the church social, but with less gossip and more football talk.
And speakin’ of knowin’ folks, you gotta do some networkin’. That’s just a fancy word for talkin’ to people. Go to them coachin’ clinics, shake some hands, make some friends. You never know who might give you a leg up. It’s like sellin’ pies at the farmers market – the more folks you know, the more pies you sell.
This whole thing, becomin’ a college football coach, it’s like plantin’ a garden. You gotta till the soil (that’s your learnin’), plant the seeds (that’s your experience), water ’em (that’s your networkin’), and then wait. And wait. And sometimes, a dang rabbit comes along and eats all your hard work! But you gotta keep at it. Persistence, they call it. I call it stubbornness, but whatever.
Now, I hear tell that them coaches in Texas gotta be teachers too. Teachers! Can you imagine? Yellin’ at kids on the field and then teachin’ ’em about fractions. That’s like tryin’ to herd cats and chickens at the same time. But if you wanna coach in Texas, that’s what you gotta do. Get your teachin’ certificate, they say. More hoops to jump through, just like tryin’ to get a goat through a fence.
And let me tell you, the money ain’t bad. I heard that fella, Kirby Smart, down in Georgia, he’s makin’ somethin’ like 13 million dollars a year! 13 million! That’s enough money to buy all the pecan pies in the county! But don’t you go gettin’ dollar signs in your eyes just yet. Most coaches start out makin’ peanuts, just enough to keep the lights on and put food on the table. It takes time, hard work, and a whole lotta luck to get to that kind of money.
So, there you have it. That’s the lowdown on becomin’ a college football coach, from an old gal who knows a thing or two about hard work. It ain’t gonna be easy, but if you’re willin’ to put in the time and effort, you just might make it. Just remember, it’s a long, hard road, like drivin’ a tractor across a muddy field. But if you keep your eyes on the prize, you might just end up on top.
And one more thing, don’t go gettin’ too big for your britches. Stay humble, remember where you came from, and always treat folks right. That’s the real secret to success, no matter what you do. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be the next big thing in college football. But don’t forget your old auntie when you’re famous, ya hear?
Tags: [College Football Coach, Football Coaching Career, Become a Football Coach, Coaching Education, Coaching Experience, Texas Football Coach, College Sports Jobs, Kirby Smart]
