Okay, so you wanna know how I tried to become an NFL waterboy? Let me tell you, it was a journey, a sweaty, hilarious, and ultimately, slightly disappointing journey. But hey, I learned a thing or two!
Phase 1: The Dream & The (Slightly Delusional) Plan
First, I had this grand vision. Me, on the sidelines, handing out water to superstar athletes, being part of the action. I imagined high-fives, maybe even a player tossing me a signed jersey. So, I hit the internet, figuring there’d be some “Waterboy 101” course. Nope.
Phase 2: Stalking… I Mean, Researching Local Teams
I decided the best way was to go local. Started looking up every high school and college team within a 50-mile radius. I figured I’d start small, build my resume, you know? I even practiced my water-pouring technique in the kitchen. My wife thought I was losing it.
- Checked team websites for contact info. Lots of dead ends.
- Found some coaches’ emails. Sent out a bunch of enthusiastic (probably too enthusiastic) emails.
- Heard back from… one. A high school team. Progress!
Phase 3: The High School Gig
This wasn’t the NFL, but it was a start! I showed up to practice, ready to be the best darn waterboy they’d ever seen. Let me tell you, those high school kids are THIRSTY. I was running around like a madman, refilling bottles, wiping up spills, and trying not to get trampled.
Key takeaways from this phase:
- Hydration is serious business.
- Those water coolers are HEAVY.
- High school coaches are intense.
Phase 4: Trying to Level Up (and Failing)
After a few weeks with the high school team, I felt ready for the big leagues… or at least, the slightly bigger leagues. I started emailing college teams again. This time, I had “experience”! I even made a little “waterboy resume,” listing my skills: “Expert-level pouring,” “Spill prevention specialist,” “Highly motivated hydrator.”
Crickets. Silence. Nothing.
Turns out, getting into college sports, even as a waterboy, is TOUGH. They usually have students or interns doing it, and those spots are competitive.
Phase 5: The NFL Dream (Dies a Slow Death)
Okay, so the NFL was clearly out of reach. I sent a few “Hail Mary” emails to the nearest NFL team, just for kicks. Never heard back, obviously. I did learn that most NFL teams have equipment staff who handle water duties, and those are actual, paid positions that require experience… in things other than pouring water.
The Conclusion (and a Little Wisdom)
So, did I become an NFL waterboy? Nope. But did I have an adventure, learn about the importance of hydration, and gain a newfound respect for anyone who works in sports, at any level? Absolutely. And I can pour a mean glass of water now, so that’s something, right?
If you want,my suggestion, you may start by contacting the local team, from small to big, good luck!
